Deri's Blogs

Your Words Matter

Have you ever thought about saying something to someone in your life, and then thought ‘Oh, he won’t want to hear that from me.? I mean, who am I?? What possible difference could my words make?’

I know I have.? And, my next ‘groove’ is to ensure that I do not allow those limiting thoughts any?space, whatsoever, in my brain.

Your words are powerful.? They matter.

I just got a note from a colleague?to whom I had said something very simple.? He (we’ll call him Sam)?emailed a group of us, apologizing for lateness to a meeting.? He had other things on the go and we knew that ahead of time.

I sent back a quick reply ‘No?worries, Sam, we are happy to have you anytime – even?if it’s brief!’

See, pretty simple on my part.

Sam?instantly emailed back.? ‘Deri, you always?make me feel good.? Thank you.

Also, pretty simple.? But it made me stop in my tracks.? I felt an instant rush of positive emotion – I was proud of myself and so happy that I had taken those 5 seconds to write that quick note to him.?

Sam gave me a great gift in that message back to me.? He?helped to remind me that my words – even simple ones – can help someone else feel good.? AND, what’s so cool is, when you make someone else feel good, YOU actually get the biggest benefit of all – because you feel good too!!!

I then remembered an email I got from a wonderful woman I met at a conference recently.? Here it is.? (We’ll call her Jane.)?

I don’t know if you will remember me, but I met you in?Alberta?where you did a presentation on Resilience. You were generous enough to spend some time with me sharing your?story, and I later purchased your book ‘Wake Up to Your Habits’.

2011 was a monumental year for me, and the catalysts for change seemed to be coming at me from all directions – yours included. You inspired me to pay more attention and give more credence to, ironically enough, what inspires me. I started asking myself questions about how I was limiting myself. How I’d surrounded myself with “shoulds” and “right-to-do’s” that produced a predictable environment that made me feel safe and secure.

But here’s the thing that working through your book helped me to see. The real me doesn’t place a huge value on safety and security.? Those things have been important in my life for the last 23 years as I raised my children to adulthood, but with just myself to look after, if I’m really honest with myself (and here you can score another one for your book), holding onto them really was holding me back.

So, I am writing you now, not from Alberta,? but from New Brunswick, where I have taken on a new role.? ?It seemed like a big decision when I was offered the position – I know no one in NB, it’s significantly less money than I was earning?before, the position is term rather than permanent – but in reality it is one of the easiest decisions I have ever made.?? I feel like this? is very important work,?and I am learning incredible things every day.? The work is hard, but I?know that I am adding real value – one of my top emotional needs.

I wasn’t unhappy in my ‘rut’ back in?Alberta (I suppose that probably the case for many people, and part of the reason we’re so comfortable staying there), but I am much happier in my new ‘groove’ here. I feel like I am working towards realizing the prayer my parents had for me that I fulfill the purpose for which I was made. Most exciting, it feels like a stepping stone to something even groovier.

I just wanted to let you know that our chance encounter in Alberta, and the contents of your book, had a positive impact on me. I am grateful that I met you and especially appreciate the extra time you spent with me that afternoon. Congratulations on the great work you do. I hope you continue to love what you are doing and enjoy all the success that you deserve.

Jane’s note, like Sam’s, matter to me.? They will absolutely make a difference in my life.? I do not reproduce them here to show you how wonderful I am…I am sharing them because I know you have also said something to make someone else feel good – and you felt good too.

I’d love to hear your stories.? When have your words helped someone else?? When has someone else’s words mattered to you?

Deri Latimer, B Mgt, CSP, is an expert in positive possibilities for people! She is one of fewer than 10% of speakers globally who hold the designation of Certified Speaking Professional. Deri combines a Business degree in Human Resources with experience from business sectors including health care, manufacturing, education, agriculture, government, mining, transportation, tourism, and professional services. Deri provides practical strategies for mental health ‘at work’; impacting individuals and organizations?to increase resilience to change, energize engagement with the organization, and propel meaningful performance results that last!?


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