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A Gratitude Letter to My Doctor

High Five!

Have you thanked your doctor lately? How about all those other really important people in your life, who truly contribute to your happiness and well-being.

My doctor just retired. It was a moment. She’s been my doctor since I moved to this city at the age of 27. She meant a great deal to me. I think I told her that in person, regularly. In posting it here, I am addressing it to doctors everywhere. I am also writing this here to inspire you to pause and appreciate those key people in your life.

 

Dear Doc:

Thank you. You make a difference.

I am sure your days are filled with people complaining, being impatient at having to wait, experiencing all kinds of anxiety at hearing a test result…and there you are, plugging away and greeting each of us like we are the first person you have seen that day.

I want you to know – in case I don’t say it often enough – you are very important to me. You are as valued as my friends are to me. You attend to me physically, and you also help me be better emotionally. Everything you say, and how you say it, makes a difference in my day.?

You greeted me as a new patient to you, who was also new to this city and to a brand new phase of my life. You gave me the news that I was expecting both of my children, and you cared for us through those pregnancies and all of the follow-up care. Even though you were no longer taking patients, you accepted my request to see my mother who was in the early stages of cognitive dementia and fearful of what was in store for her. You took on my daughter as a patient as she developed into womanhood, and you even allowed me to ask questions about her during my own appointments. You have allowed me to breathe easier when I found ‘something’, somewhere on my body, and you were able to put my mind to rest about that thing.

I hope you know – and always know – that you have added to my life in immeasurable ways. I will always remember you with fond thoughts.

You are not replaceable, but I hope I am able to find someone just like you. Someone who chose this career path because she or he had a passion for helping people continue to be better. Someone who is caring, kind, considerate and brutally honest when that is required! Someone who truly sees me, hears me. and values me as I will see, hear and value them.

Thank you, Doc! High Five to you!

Warm Regards, Deri

So, who can you send a letter to today?

Deri Latimer is an expert in positive possibilities for people! A TEDx Speaker and Author, Deri?s message reinforces that positive habits are the pathway to a happier and healthier life ? at work, at home and at any age!?www.derilatimer.com

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7 Strategies for a More Respectful World

Man&WomanMeeting1Aretha Franklin sang about it (R.E.S.P.E.C.T.), Rodney Dangerfield quipped about it (“I don’t get no respect!”), and just about every workplace has a policy related to it (Respectful Workplace). It’s perhaps even a regular topic of conversation around your kitchen table.

I am thinking about the topic a lot these days, largely fuelled by the media coverage regarding Jian Ghomeshi and the allegations surrounding the former CBC Radio Host. Jian is innocent until proven guilty, and as a wife, mother, sister and friend of many lovely men, I believe he deserves – as much as the rest of us do – that we withhold judgement until all the facts are out in the open. No matter what the end result of this situation, something went wrong; someone did not communicate properly; someone was hurt because they got something different that what they expected; someone did not respect someone else.

So, what, then, is respect? Dictionary.com defines respect as: “esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person…; proper acceptance or courtesy…”

Wikipedia defines respect in this way: “a positive feeling of esteem?or deference?for a person?or other entity?(such as a nation or a religion), and also specific actions and conduct?representative of that esteem. Respect can be a specific feeling of regard for the actual qualities of the one respected (e.g., “I have great respect for her judgment”).
In the many workshops I have delivered on the topic over 20 years, I consistently hear that respect means “being seen, heard and valued”.
Often, when we think of respect – we think about how we feel; “I do not feel respected in this meeting.” ?Yet, the feeling that comes with being respected or not, relates to how we interpret what we are noticing in other people’s behavior. The person says or does something, we add meaning to that behavior based on our past experiences, and then we feel the emotion connected to that behavior and our interpretation of it. Respect is therefore more a description of what we notice in one another’s behavior, and what meaning we add to that behavior.
So, can one person find a certain behavior respectful, while another person finds the same behavior disrespectful? Absolutely! That is why we cannot get around the need for open, honest, accepting communication. Respect is about understanding.
No matter what, when respect is present, we feel good. When respect is absent, we don’t.
I thought it might be a nice refresher for us all – at work, outside of work, in all of our relationships – to remind ourselves about how to show respect to everyone we meet.
You will show R.E.S.P.E.C.T. when you:
R – Receive information from the world around you. Open your eyes, ears and heart to others. Truly, intentionally, attend to what’s going on around you – including what others are doing and saying.
E – Express your wishes, interests, needs, and inquiries simply and articulately. “I’d like to work with you on the project.” “May I kiss you?”
S – Share important information. Rather than assuming the other person knows exactly what you are asking or saying, be sure to give them enough information in order for them to understand.
P – Practice mindful listening. Pause (that means stop talking), focus entirely on the other person (their words and their non-verbals), breathe, pause.
E – Establish boundaries. Inquire, paraphrase and empathize with the other person. Then discuss your mutually agreed upon boundaries for this part of your relationship.
C – Create a ritual of checking in. Lasting relationships are those that provide consideration for the rights and responsibilities of each person, and clearly outline a way of relating that is comfortable and meaningful to everyone involved. Check in regularly and assess how you are doing.
T – Tell a friend. There is no question that you learn best that which you teach to others. Share the respect-generating tips from here – and others you learn along the way – with people in your life. Social learning?is the best kind of learning – and, of course, people will learn most from you by watching what you do (not just listening to what you say).
To quote the beautiful Ms. Franklin….R.E.S.P.E.C.T.; find out what it means to me…
Deri Latimer is an expert in positive possibilities for people! She is one of fewer than 10% of speakers globally who hold the designation of CSP (Certified Speaking Professional), the international measure of excellence for professional competence, proven experience, and optimal client satisfaction. Deri combines a business degree in human resources management with 20 years of experience engaging audiences across every business sector. Deri provides inspiration and information to create psychologically healthy organizations for increased positivity, productivity, and profitability!