This is the time of year when many of us are thinking about the new year ahead of us. It is a common practice to begin thinking about resolutions for the new year. Of course, we all know the humour around New Year’s Resolutions…they often aren’t very long-lived (i.e. resolve on January 1, break the resolution on January 3!!) Like all good intentions, new year’s resolutions are just that…good intentions. They need some work in order for them to become reality!
There are some other resources you can use to help you focus on what you want as you look ahead. One is called The Coaching Game . I learned about (and purchased) this great resource while attending the First World Congress on Positive Psychology this summer. The game allow you to ask yourself questions, and then uses pictures, words, and stories to help you self-discover.
Another amazing resource that I have used with clients for many years is an Outcome Specification Exercise. This set of questions allow you to identify – at a sensory level – what it is that you want and how you will know when you have it. It is a modification of an exercise I learned when I became certified as a Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner. Ask yourself these questions to specify your outcome.
1) What specifically do you want?
Make sure this is stated positively. For example, rather than saying “I want to lose 20 pounds’, says something like ‘I want to be healthy’.
2) How will you know that you have reached your outcome?
Identify exactly how you will know that you have what you want. Identify what you will see, hear and feel, that will indicate to you that you have what you want.
3) How would an observer be able to detect that you have what you want?
Think about others around you…how would they be able to know that you have reached your outcome? What will they see; what will they hear?
4) What will having this outcome do for you?
Identify all of the benefits of having your outcome.
5) What stops you from having it now?
Keep asking yourself this question ‘what else stops you?’ until you have no more responses.
6) What are you willing to do in order to get your outcome?
This will help you to begin to develop the necessary action steps required to achieve your outcome…including different ways of thinking, feeling and behaving.
7) What are you willing to stop doing (something you have been doing that has been preventing you for getting your outcome) in order to get your outcome?
This last question can be very illuminating! Sometimes we get in our own way!
Try one of these strategies – or another one – and let me know how it goes!
In the mean time…best wishes for a GROOVY new year!!
Posts Tagged ‘NLP’
Move INTO A NEW GROOVE in 2010!
Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009What is NLP?
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009I am often asked ‘what is NLP?’ I became a certified practitioner of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) in 1991. After a brief exposure to it through a colleague, I instantly recognized how NLP could be useful to me – in my work and in my life.
NLP is an approach to positive personal change. It provides a set of tools to help deal with unhelpful patterns of thought and behaviour, while simulatenously introducing new, helpful patterns. NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) was created by Dr. Richard Bandler and Dr. John Grinder in the early 1970’s. As the name suggests, NLP is about the relationship between the brain (neuro), verbal and non-verbal language used to communicate (linguistic), and the unique way they come together to create behaviour (programming).
You have some personal programs that work for you; and others that work against you. NLP allows you to keep the ones that work for you and change those that do not. The key, of course, is in being able to identify the program…NLP is about increasing your self-awareness, and then taking control of your thinking.
One enlightening NLP exercise has to do with recognizing and shaking limiting beliefs. A limiting belief generally begins with one of the following:
‘I can’t… ’
EXAMPLE: ‘I can’t speak in public.’
‘People should…’
EXAMPLE: ‘People should be friendlier.’
‘Everyone thinks…’
EXAMPLE: ‘Everyone thinks communication in this company is poor.’
‘People never…’
EXAMPLE: ‘People never listen to me.’
Whenever you hear yourself making one of these statements, try this strategy.
Step 1: Challenge the belief: Where does this belief come from? Is this belief still valid? What evidence do I have to support this belief? What evidence suggests the belief is untrue?
Step 2: Find an alternative belief: Consider many possibilities. Try on new beliefs that are more positive and choose the best one for you.
Step 3: Integrate the new belief: Imagine how things will be different with the new belief and consider how you will feel about this change. imagine yourself doing going through your life, interacting with others, with the new belief. How do you feel? Is this motivating for you?
Even though the name is long and looks complicated, the strategies of NLP are quite easy and straightforward. The key is repetition and attention. In the strategy above, if the belief is well ingrained in your thinking (if you have held the belief for a long time or if it is associated with a significant experience or memory), you may need to repeat the process about several times before you can fully integrate the new belief. Then, attend to the new results in your thinking, feeling and behaviour.
Do you have a belief that is getting in your way? Send your story after you try the strategy above. What new results are true for you?
