Into a New Groove

I’ve thought about retiring since I started working.  Really.  My father passed away just after I graduated from high school.  He was a young man of just 45.  I decided to stay in our small northern community to help my mom get on her feet.  I got my first job in the Personnel Department (remember those days, when HR was called ‘Personnel’?) of the local mining company.  I had the benefits portfolio (I was the one who retiring folks needed to see to get paperwork in order prior to retirement), and it astounded me how often I encountered people who were apprehensive about retiring.  ‘What?’ I thought, ‘How can limitless free time be a BAD thing?’  What I discovered then, and since then, is that many people retire only to find themselves ‘lost’,  and all that ‘free time’ that seems so desirable is filled with a) not much, or b) lots of things that other people want you to do (i.e. ‘their’ to-do list, not yours).

The boomers of today (and the generations that follow) will have decades of leisure time (unlike our parent, who often had a short retirement period, if any  - my father is a case in point).  What is your PLAN for retirement?  All the research shows that the earlier you begin planning, the better (not a novel concept, I know, but one worth a reminder).

So, success in retirement requires a PLAN:

P - PREPARE your Vision: What turns you on?  What motivates you?  What gets your motor running?  What have you always wanted to do but never had the time because you were busy with work, family, etc.?  Whether you call this your purpose, your mission, or your dream; write it down and see yourself doing that in your retirement.   Start TODAY setting goals and creating action plans to begin bringing your vision to life.

L - LEARN and Un-Learn:  Keep learning - now and in your retirement.  And, keep un-learning.  Be curious about discovering new relationships and new things.  Challenge yourself each day.  And, un-learn old habits that prevent you from being happy so that you can and learn new ones.  Some of your old habits were useful for you at one point in time; now they might be limiting you.  There are no real rules in retirement; this is the time to craft the life you desire. 

A - ACT on YOUR Schedule:  I know.  You are looking forward to having NO schedule in retirement, right?  Well, guess what; no schedule often means someone else will craft one for you - and chances are good it won’t be filled with the things that you desire!  So, make sure to create your own schedule and fill it with things that are aligned with your vision.   And, make sure to let your friends and family know what your schedule is…and respect that schedule as much as you respect your work schedule now.

N - NOURISH Yourself: Feed all parts of yourself (and schedule this in to make sure you are doing it).  Eat properly and regularly (you already know what that means…follow the food guide); exercise (this does not mean you have to take up a high-intensity boxing class - walking is a great way to get moving - and there are no membership fees); read and challenge your mind; connect with family and friends; attend to your spirit.   Your schedule can help you to ensure that you have balance in each of these areas.

PLANning for retirement has an added bonus.  In addition to ensuring greater success and happiness in retirement, planning helps you achieve greater happiness NOW!  You’ll experience tremendous joy and gratitude now as you craft your desired state in the future.

Have you got a retirement tip to share? 

Years ago, I met two very wise individuals. They taught me a lesson that literally ‘changed my life’. That lesson was that feedback is information; and that when people give you feedback they are really telling you about themselves. Let me explain.

As a workshop facilitator with audiences filled with supervisors, managers, and organizational leaders on a regular basis, the topic of feedback comes up regularly. When my audiences are not filled with leaders, they are filled with people who work for leaders…and the topic of feedback comes up regularly in these sessions too! Everyone seems to want it, and seems to see great benefits in giving and receiving it, and yet not many of us are engaging in it! I think a big part of the reason for this is a lack of understanding and appreciation that feedback is just information - it is not ‘truth’.

When someone gives you feedback, they are really telling you about their view of the world - their expectations, their experience, their likes and dislikes. It is just information for you and does not mean that it IS reality - it’s just their reality (in that moment, in that situation).

So, if John says ‘you are great!’, that is nice for you to hear, but it does not mean that you ARE great…it just means that John thought that something you did or said or did not do or say, was ‘great’ as he defines it. Just like if Sam said ‘you are rude’, it just means that Sam thought something you did or said or did not do or say, was ‘rude’ as she defines it. It does not mean that you ARE rude.

When you think of feedback as just information, you can be curious about the information you get and use all feedback as a learning opportunity - an opportunity to learn how others around you view the world, including how they interpret your behaviour. So, you can respond with something like ‘Thank you, John. Now help me understand what I did or said that was ‘great’ to you!’ or ‘Thank you, Sam. I am curious about what I did or said or didn’t do or say that was ‘rude’ to you.’

I am reminded of a lovely quotation by Gene Early, ‘Feedback is not absolute truth, but it is truth to the person delivering it.’