Into a New Groove

Are you in a ‘rut’?  Do you find yourself doing the same thing over and over…and wondering why your results are the same?  Do you sometimes feel like you are getting in your own way?  Are you ready to move into a new groove?

 

Well, even if you weren’t born in the 70’s, a ‘new groove’ might be just the thing you need to help you GROW this year!

 

Your personal patterns and programs are deeply ingrained within you.  They are so ingrained that many of them have become deep, unproductive ruts, and you find yourself thinking, feeling, and behaving in the same way…over and over!  The patterns have become automatic, and you feel like you are not consciously deciding to think the thoughts you are thinking or consciously deciding to do the things you are doing; the thoughts and actions seem to just happen all by themselves.

 

Well, there’s good new!  Just as your present patterns and programs were once learned, you can learn new patterns and programs too!  Why not take the opportunity to move out of your unproductive ruts, and move into a new groove?

 

Okay, this is where the work comes in.  Yes, there has to be a little work – but the rewards are well worth the investment!

 

To GROW Your Groove, you need to:

1)      Get a Grip;

2)      Refocus and Rephrase;

3)      Opt for Ownership; and

4)      Wait and Watch!

 

Get a Grip:

Begin by attending to those patterns that are getting in your way, that are limiting you.  Perhaps your regular department meetings have become a dreaded event for you.  You find the meetings long and boring, and you feel resentful and impatient about having to spend valuable work time in a seemingly ‘counter-productive’ way.    You find that you have no energy in the meeting and you can’t wait for the meeting to be over.  You believe it is a waste of time.  After each meeting, you feel exhausted and frustrated!

 

Refocus and Rephrase:

Next, decide what you WANT, and focus on that rather than focusing on what you don’t want.  Rephrase your internal dialogue.  You might, for example, replace the ‘I hate these meetings.  They are long and boring.’ message with the ‘I want to take what I can out of this meeting, and I want to be energized and happy when I get back to my desk’ message. 

 

Opt for Ownership:

Follow your refocus with deciding to ‘own’ the experience.  You know there is only one thing you control in this world (yup, that’d be ‘you’!)  You know that you are the one who can create the experience you WANT (and, you are the only one who can move away from the experience you don’t want).  So, decide what you can DO so that you take what you can out of the meeting, and so that you can stay energized and happy. 

 

For example, you might decide that you can:

Ø      read over the agenda and prepare for the meeting ahead of time

Ø      confirm the start and end time for the meeting

Ø      reinforce with the chair that you look forward to an efficient and productive meeting

Ø      check out who else will be there and decide to connect with someone new

Ø      visualize:

ü      the meeting running smoothly and efficiently (how are you behaving?; how are others behaving?)

ü      yourself as an energized and happy meeting attendee

ü      leaving the meeting looking energized and happy as you head back to your desk

Ø      send your input ahead of time to the meeting chair

Ø      arrive early and chat with someone you haven’t seen in awhile (who happens to be positive!)

Ø      focus on the meeting when it starts and contribute fully where appropriate

Ø      offer to be timekeeper to keep the meeting on track

Ø      offer positive comments to others who are in the meeting and adding their input

Ø      drink lots of water (or another great, energizing beverage)

 

Wait and Watch:

Finally, wait and watch, as your energy and perspective begin to shift.  Notice how differently you feel, and how differently the meeting seems to you.  Pay attention to others around you.  As your experience begins to change, what is happening to them?  As you think differently, you begin to feel differently, and you begin to behave differently.  Savor and enjoy the shift!

 

You do not have to be a victim to the personal programs (ruts) that keep you stuck in unproductive thoughts, feelings and behaviours.  You can choose to create new patterns for success.  You can move into a new groove!  So, remember to GROW Your Groove, and:

Get a Grip!

Refocus and Rephrase

Opt for Ownership

Wait and Watch

In Martin Seligman’s National Bestseller, Learned Optimism, he discusses the three P’s of Pessimism: Pervasiveness, Permanence and Personal.  Seligman notes that a pessimist is less persistent in dealing with setbacks or overcoming obstacles because the pessimist believes that when an obstacle presents itself, it reflects that EVERYTHING is an obstacle, it will ALWAYS be an obstacle, and I (the pessimist) will NEVER be any different (a hopeless, ’see, I told you so’ perspective).   After reading Seligman’s work and making observations about pessimists I have encountered in my work and life, I decided we need The Three O’s of Optimism to remind us all of how we can shift our perspective from Pessimism (hopeless) to Optimism (hopeful).  The three O’s are Opportunity, Occasion, and Ownership.  Opportunity reminds us that setbacks or obstacles are just that - blips in the road, diversions along the way - which are often opportunities for greater learning and insight.  For example, if my relationship with my manager is becoming strained (an obstacle to my performance) that is an opportunity for me to pause, think about what I want from that relationship, and plan what I want to say to my manager.  The strain (’problem’) is actually an indicator that we need to have a dialogue about our relationship.  We need to go deeper (’opportunity’).  At the end of the dialogue, we will undoubtedly have a stronger relationship - impacting performance for us both.  Occasion reminds us that catastrophic language like EVERYTHING, ALWAYS and NEVER will by themselves make us less persistent!  We’ve given up before we even start.  Really, think about any circumstance in which this generalized language is true, or even remotely useful.  It is disengageing language; if we believe that something is permanent, then it shall be permanent - because we have made it so.  We can look at all the moments in our lives as ‘occasions’ or occurrences: some are positive and some are not.  Ownership is a reminder that sometimes a setback or obstacle is a direct result of my personal actions, and sometimes it is not.  Sometimes, the setback is due to the actions of others.  I am, of course, responsible for my actions along the way - and those actions will be easier choices for me when I realize that the setback or obstacle is not permanent, pervasive, or personal! 

Changing the three P’s to the three O’s will help you to move into that new groove - to recover more quickly from setbacks and to make the most of the learning opportunity in front of you. 

How do you stay optimistic?

Resilience is the ability to respond to high levels of change while maintaining personal resourcefulness. The word conjures up images of flexibility, of being able to ‘bounce back’ from adversity, of being able to handle stressful situations with ease. Are you wondering, how you can achieve that in a “S.N.A.P.”?

Imagine you are in a stressful situation (say, giving a presentation to a challenging client)…now follow this model:

S - See Yourself

Begin by visualizing yourself as the resourceful, resilient person you would like to be in that situation. How do you look? What are you doing?

N - Navigate a path

As you picture your resourceful, resilient self; what are you thinking about yourself, about others, about your role? How does having positive, affirming thoughts about yourself, others, and your role impact how you feel?

A - Assume Control

You know there is only one thing in this world that you completely control - yourself! So, assume control over your experience and decide to believe the beliefs that support success, decide to behave as though those beliefs are true, and notice the different results you experience! As you begin to behave differently, others respond to your behaviour and they start to behave differently, you begin to feel differently and then you continue to behave differently, and so on and so on and so on (ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy!).

P - Press On

Remember that replacing old, potentially limiting beliefs with new, enabling beliefs can take time … you need to persist in order to achieve the success you desire.

It really can be a S.N.A.P.!