Often, at this time of year, I – and others I know – feel a little ‘blue’. It’s cold outside (at least it is here in many parts of Canada), the holiday madness is over, and another year of goal setting and action planning is upon us. This ‘blue’ feeling is what has inspired me to write this post.
I am, overall, a very happy person. I have realized that, while that is the case most of the time, there are other times where my happiness wanes. During those times, I am aware that my thoughts are different … they are less positive and they are quite clearly impacting my emotion (I feel ‘blue’) and my behaviour.
I speak to audiences every day and share the latest research on happiness and well-being. In fact, the new term in Positive Psychology is ‘flourishing’…isn’t that a wonderful word! So what, I wonder, does a flourishing human being think, feel and do?
I am attracted to, and my audiences appreciate, quick little strategies and tools to shift energy when the ‘blues’ arrive. I’d like to share a few of them with you today.
One great resource I discovered (actually, a wonderful colleague introduced me to this; thank you, Jennifer) is
The Happiness Institute’s Daily Happiness Checklist. You can print this off and keep it close to your desk and quickly review it each day. You’ll definitely notice a shift in your energy.
Another quick resource is to begin a gratitude journal. Each day – record two or three things for which you are grateful. At first, you might find that the items you record are huge, significant items…like the love of your children, your mothers wise words, etc. After awhile you will find yourself including other things …like fresh, crisp air and dental floss. The idea is – and it seems to have sort of magical results – when you focus on what you are grateful for, you magnify the positivity of that item (and you engage the positive emotion of gratitude). Another strategy that I use regularly with groups is to shift negative, unhelpful thoughts to more positive, helpful ones. It sound so simple, and yet results in a shift in energy (from the blues to something warmer…maybe orange!) that can propel you to make different, more productive choices.
Recently, Barbara Ehrenreich has received a lot of press around her book ‘Bright-Sided’ which seems to blame positive thinking for enabling people to avoid confronting serious problems in the workplace, the economy, or in their lives. Ms. Ehrenreich certainly has a point in that none of us is served well if we stick our head in the sand, sing ‘Kum Ba Ya’, and wish that all bad things disappear. We need to be cognizant of what is really happening around us. However, too much focus on problems – in my experience – just creates more (magnifies) problems.
Consider my friend Jane who is dying of cancer. Jane knows the reality – she is dying – and she knows that she has a choice around how she will spend her remaining days with her family. It can only serve Jane well to decide – to choose – to be positive. To think positively about what is possible during her shortened life and to send that energy out to everyone else around her. I mean, what are her options…to spend the short time she has with her loved ones consumed with negativity and sorrow? I cannot fathom any purpose served by Jane staying engaged in negative emotion – no purpose for her and certainly none for her loved ones. Jane is not in denial – she is in choice.
One last strategy I would like to share is one that I use regularly…I love it’s simplicity and effectiveness. Whenever you find yourself in a situation that is not ideal, decide to A.C.T.: Accept your current reality (for Jane, she would say ‘I accept that I am dying’), then Choose a vision of what you would like in this situation (Jane might say ‘I choose to enjoy every moment with my family and to create more lasting, fond memories’), then Take action to achieve the vision. Jane can:
- think positive thoughts about herself
- think positive thoughts about the people around her
- decide to connect with her family whenever she can
- ask lots of questions of others to shift focus away from her illness and toward the myriad of activities that others are involved with
- end each day with a gratitude journal
Each of these actions will help move Jane TOWARD her vision (what she wants) so she is not using her energy moving AWAY from what she does not want (the reality of her situation).
I believe you can be both realistic AND hopeful! As I left my visit with Jane a few days ago, she smiled to me at the door and said ‘you never know, Deri…I might just be a medical miracle’. And, I agree, you never know – so why not think (feel and do) like it’s possible. I’d call that flourishing!
What do you think?
Archive for the ‘Human Resource Development’ Category
Feeling ‘Blue’?
Wednesday, January 27th, 2010Move INTO A NEW GROOVE in 2010!
Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009This is the time of year when many of us are thinking about the new year ahead of us. It is a common practice to begin thinking about resolutions for the new year. Of course, we all know the humour around New Year’s Resolutions…they often aren’t very long-lived (i.e. resolve on January 1, break the resolution on January 3!!) Like all good intentions, new year’s resolutions are just that…good intentions. They need some work in order for them to become reality!
There are some other resources you can use to help you focus on what you want as you look ahead. One is called The Coaching Game . I learned about (and purchased) this great resource while attending the First World Congress on Positive Psychology this summer. The game allow you to ask yourself questions, and then uses pictures, words, and stories to help you self-discover.
Another amazing resource that I have used with clients for many years is an Outcome Specification Exercise. This set of questions allow you to identify – at a sensory level – what it is that you want and how you will know when you have it. It is a modification of an exercise I learned when I became certified as a Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner. Ask yourself these questions to specify your outcome.
1) What specifically do you want?
Make sure this is stated positively. For example, rather than saying “I want to lose 20 pounds’, says something like ‘I want to be healthy’.
2) How will you know that you have reached your outcome?
Identify exactly how you will know that you have what you want. Identify what you will see, hear and feel, that will indicate to you that you have what you want.
3) How would an observer be able to detect that you have what you want?
Think about others around you…how would they be able to know that you have reached your outcome? What will they see; what will they hear?
4) What will having this outcome do for you?
Identify all of the benefits of having your outcome.
5) What stops you from having it now?
Keep asking yourself this question ‘what else stops you?’ until you have no more responses.
6) What are you willing to do in order to get your outcome?
This will help you to begin to develop the necessary action steps required to achieve your outcome…including different ways of thinking, feeling and behaving.
7) What are you willing to stop doing (something you have been doing that has been preventing you for getting your outcome) in order to get your outcome?
This last question can be very illuminating! Sometimes we get in our own way!
Try one of these strategies – or another one – and let me know how it goes!
In the mean time…best wishes for a GROOVY new year!!
Happiness, Productivity and The Law of Attraction
Sunday, March 1st, 2009I believe that most of us understand that, generally, happier employees are more productive; they achieve better results for themselves and for the organization. There is a lot of research to support the importance of positive emotions at work. Much of my work is with leaders in organizations, who certainly understand this connection; and who are curious about what they can do to facilitate, encourage, and nurture happiness at work.
The first piece of advice I have for these leaders relates to a fundamental belief I have about effective leadership: you must model the way! If the leader is not experiencing happiness and positive emotion at work, it is highly unlikely that the team members will either. It is not enough to say the right words at a meeting, hoping to inspire the team to be pumped up and excited about their work. If the words are not connected to true positive emotion in the leader, they fall flat. And…if the leader is not ‘feeling’ what they are saying, they are less able to attract that feeling in others. Have you noticed how much more believable, inspiring, and attractive someone is who is truly congruent with the message they are delivering? As I work with leaders across a variety of organizations weekly, I continue to confirm that every leader indeed WANTS a happy team…and also WANTS that same experience for themselves.
So, what can you do to begin to create it for yourself and your team? Try the three principles of the Law of Attraction as outlined by Michael Losier in his book of the same title. 1) Identify your desires. You might, for example, identify what it is that you want to see in your team. “I want a happy, productive team; who are smiling, laughing, sharing information, and connecting to explore opportunities and solve problems.” 2) Give your desires attention. Once you have identified your desires…see them, hear them, feel them. What are the cues in your environment that provide the evidence you seek? How will you know your desire is manifested? How will you know it when you see (hear, feel) it? 3) Allow your desires. When you focus on what it is that you want to see, hear and feel; that is exactly what you will notice and experience. Your attention is diverted from what is contrary to what you desire, to magnifying those moments when what you desire is before you. Your focus will help to grow, or magnify the experience; you’ll then experience more of it yourself, you’ll then put more of it out into the workplace (model it), then you’ll get more of it, and so on, and so on. See it, be it, free it!
Try this out; and comment back with a story to share.
Mentoring Magic
Monday, February 2nd, 2009I have delivered workshops and keynote presentations on the topic of Mentoring for the last 5 years. My clients, like any organization today, are realizing that there are tremendous benefits to be derived from having a formalized Mentoring program in place. Some of the benefits are:
- addressing gaps in knowledge management/corporate memory, as older workers plan to retire in the next 5 years
- being recognized in recruitment efforts as an employer or choice, as new talent is both interested and well versed in the topic of mentoring
- using mentoring as a way to assist in retention of staff, since the confidential nature of the relationship facilitates open discussions about the protege’s motivation and general job satisfaction
- providing for career management and development of key talent, since mentors can provide valuable information and networking opportunities to impact human resource/succession planning
Beyond these benefits, which are significant to any employer, Mentoring programs provide another huge opportunity – mentor engagement!! Talk to just about any mentor, and they will comment on how the experience of Mentoring increased their own engagement and energy for their work, as much (if not more) than the protege experienced! The magic of Mentoring is that while it is often positioned to benefit the protege, the real benefits to the organization go beyond the protege to the mentor!
I also happen to deliver workshops and keynote presentations on Pre-Retirement Lifestyle Planning; and consistently the message of the near-retiree is ‘I want to leave on a high note in my career’; ‘I want to leave a legacy’. Positioning your Mentoring program to benefit both parties involved means that the organization benefits from higher productivity on all levels. Additionally, you’ll have a lot more interest from senior staff to volunteer when they are reminded that there are trendous benefits to being a mentor.
Another workshop I have delivered for select corporate clients is Attendance Management. In every session, the challenge of engaging and motivating older workers comes up. Certainly not every older worker is under-performing (most I know are very high performers); however, there are some. In these workshops, managers who attend will readily admit that often their older workers are disengaged and demotivated (just putting in time) because they are treated that way in the organization (”John’s ‘retired’ on the job so we don’t consider him for new projects”). Think about the possibilities to impact performance with this group by engaging, and re-energizing them, as mentors.
If you have not already thought about implementing a Mentoring program in your organization, read this article on Mentoring and consider the benefits to you, your staff, and your business results.
